tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28637996267592909742024-03-12T20:42:24.625-07:00following Jesus is hardPete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-11340366428865294732013-05-11T19:39:00.002-07:002013-05-11T19:39:36.284-07:00Living with the Certainty of UncertaintiesI am a few days shy of the 3 month post-treatment mark. It feels wonderful to be putting more time and distance between chemo & radiation, and my daily experience. When I compare these photos, it is hard to connect with the first picture. I find myself asking "Did I really look like that?!" Of course I did; it just feels so foreign as compared to where I find myself now only 5 months after the final chemo treatment.
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6AVm0zY_OYcfenY_1Y93XgCHKHeWvFRBXhZ6hC6h-XjvpErmz7VjuLzmAQmYjdjcjsishH28Pu9eiHjygVded6e1JH2fGBloO5JukUlhW49ePyu7ELCGn3UtYzJbwb7yqXxEOhYLk__M/s1600/IMG_3686.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6AVm0zY_OYcfenY_1Y93XgCHKHeWvFRBXhZ6hC6h-XjvpErmz7VjuLzmAQmYjdjcjsishH28Pu9eiHjygVded6e1JH2fGBloO5JukUlhW49ePyu7ELCGn3UtYzJbwb7yqXxEOhYLk__M/s320/IMG_3686.jpg" /></a>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdBPhTwgqMP7vJGjhP6_bMD2g34B-FHAOPCWKDeFBefj50Q_aygkHWEjnyoIGhWbSiC5lfnjfIaJpl4e6gTiW-QrytasUUfgRqkk9fEbQ9IhuAE69-M-J9nQNsJNHSwkr-amW7-RH71IU/s1600/IMG_4133.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdBPhTwgqMP7vJGjhP6_bMD2g34B-FHAOPCWKDeFBefj50Q_aygkHWEjnyoIGhWbSiC5lfnjfIaJpl4e6gTiW-QrytasUUfgRqkk9fEbQ9IhuAE69-M-J9nQNsJNHSwkr-amW7-RH71IU/s320/IMG_4133.jpg" /></a>
My recovery is not completely in a forward motion, though, and I have to continue being patient with my body and its ssslllooooowww regeneration. I am still dealing with fatigue from the radiation therapy, and with the impact of peripheral neuropathy. My hands and feet are usually quite painful by the end of the day, but at least I am able to be up and around more. My recovery plan keeps getting modified as the nerve damage lingers, so I am learning to tune into what my body is telling me about my day-to-day activities, in order to prevent permanent damage. For now, I see enough forward motion that I feel optimistic about the healing process, and continue to anticipate a day when I am fully free of both the nerve damage and breast cancer.
I will have a few detours along the way to putting this behind me, though. My oncologist suggested I complete genetic testing to ensure that I was not a carrier of the 2 known breast & ovarian cancer genetic mutations. If I carried them, I would have to make some decisions about surgery to prevent the likely return of breast cancer, and the onset of ovarian cancer.(There may be more mutations related to these cancers, but at this point, scientists can only clearly identify these 2). I received my results a few weeks ago, and it is a good news/uncertain news scenario. The good news is that I do not carry the specific mutations known to create breast and ovarian cancer. WHEW! The uncertain news is that a different rare mutation was discovered in those particular genes. It is so rare, that scientists have not found a large enough pool of patients to study it. At this point, it is assumed to be benign, and nothing to worry about.
I must admit I felt unsettled by the discovery of a rare genetic mutation. What if it's not benign? What if, down the road, it is linked to cancer or other serious health issues? How do I make decisions with such weak data??
When faced with uncertainty, I have learned to pray, and to turn to Scripture. This passage from Psalm 139 has long been a favourite of mine, but in light of these test results, these verses are all the more precious to me:
"O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them." (v. 1 - 5; 13 - 16)
There is nothing in my circumstances that are a surprise to God. He has "hemmed" me in from the beginning of my life, and knows every detail of every cell and DNA pattern that I have. Because I can trust Him and his plans, I can rest in knowing He is with me, and has his hand on all aspects of my life. The uncertainties of life, including a rare genetic mutation, do not overcome God's faithfulness and his all encompassing grace He provides to live fully and abundantly. That is where peace is found (at least for me!)
And then there are all the good people placed in my life that are cheering me on to the finish line. A wonderful friend and neighbour who has been on the same journey keeps encouraging me to look forward to a time when all this will be a distant memory, and all the details of treatment, side effects and cancer itself will be hard to recall. She inspires me and I am so appreciative of her support and example. I have so much for which I am thankful: a husband who supports and encourages and continues to love me through every moment of this experience. Family who are always at hand - sister, parents, children, nieces - even grandchildren who light up our days! Colleagues who continue to write, call and visit... Friends from all over the country who support us with love and food and listening ears. Life is rich and full, and I am so thankful for all the blessings that fill my life.
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY2swrl8pH8iWA9gy-UY4Iu-Mz80oPHTt2TijFVIqCK04f0q55N5a5tVKVu2_CHfYMXYA35J0wM8i4JrJ1Z9R_0qfzMCUJ2-2VeVe1mFvbf2P8icjKTCVamXYdzXyadiqacTfVNeNqVWk/s1600/IMG_0330.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY2swrl8pH8iWA9gy-UY4Iu-Mz80oPHTt2TijFVIqCK04f0q55N5a5tVKVu2_CHfYMXYA35J0wM8i4JrJ1Z9R_0qfzMCUJ2-2VeVe1mFvbf2P8icjKTCVamXYdzXyadiqacTfVNeNqVWk/s320/IMG_0330.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGinV8xjoWRfv2yd4ovMhLePbGlR-ZJyR05yZSyxqOS2fITD0aQye3f8aAu37ohq2UotGbJQWaowAjuXEyTe9kppX94B4UjsLjKfwJ7tISeIqV_8O7Mr-bkmphSUkMzHsHAgDMd12SE2g/s1600/IMG_0311.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGinV8xjoWRfv2yd4ovMhLePbGlR-ZJyR05yZSyxqOS2fITD0aQye3f8aAu37ohq2UotGbJQWaowAjuXEyTe9kppX94B4UjsLjKfwJ7tISeIqV_8O7Mr-bkmphSUkMzHsHAgDMd12SE2g/s320/IMG_0311.jpg" /></a>
Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-74813101761350771272013-04-22T11:07:00.000-07:002013-04-22T11:07:04.291-07:00Signs of SpringApril 22. It is a whole 9 weeks post treatment, and SO MUCH has happened in our lives. As most of you know, Pete has made some big changes in his career path, having resigned from WMB. He is now working for Mennonite Central Committee, leading teams on mission trips to the urban landscape of Toronto, ON. He is also working at Integrity Home Services, doing residential construction & renovations, and landscape work. Both jobs pull at his passions: working with the poor and marginalized in our culture, and getting his hands dirty with active, hands on work. Many of you have asked me: How was Pete's first week? Busy, new and a bit strange. Transitioning from the comfort of the church community into such new roles has meant some hard things. Saying goodbye to colleagues and friends. Letting go of the comfortable, known routines and income. Getting used to a new rhythm, making new connections with strangers and hoping to make it all make sense. At one point, Pete turned to me and said "This feels a little weird, to be away from the church." Yes it does. But we are SO grateful for the fact that we have been able to stay in this community, and to stay planted in our little house beside the river. This means we can see people we love and miss. We look forward to reconnecting with friends along the way, and getting caught up on the story of your own journeys. This has already begun - yesterday I spent the afternoon with a good friend, Blythe, celebrating her upcoming marriage and seeing so many women from WMB who are dear to me. I felt so blessed to just be out in a social setting. I can't recall the last time I was able to do this, and it is nice to have the energy to go out for a few hours and visit! I take that as a sign of spring on its way in my body. Yes, I still have peripheral neuropathy & am dealing with pain, tingling, weakness and numbness in my hands and feet. This side effect from chemo is lingering and while I wish I could hurry it along, there is nothing to do but take the meds prescribed for the symptoms and simply wait it out. My hair is also returning quite quickly. At my last visit to the hospital, I was told that I don't look like a cancer patient only 2 months out of treatment, because of how much my hair had grown in. Yay hair! Hurray for eyebrows and eyelashes! Here's a few photos for comparison in various phases of the journey: (forgive my lousy self-portraits)
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU9trRd_gBe2m1auT2XVCz-LEXJXI2_xq1-ED0VBGzxid6c9sePre_hhP_Estmx0jyLlYj9u-ClrgpMIbDlT0e_16a0YHYKwg8KQDuiQo4vJnPknX69ahGjQ_cWSBrzD3TbTj0QlFSaJM/s1600/IMG_3255.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU9trRd_gBe2m1auT2XVCz-LEXJXI2_xq1-ED0VBGzxid6c9sePre_hhP_Estmx0jyLlYj9u-ClrgpMIbDlT0e_16a0YHYKwg8KQDuiQo4vJnPknX69ahGjQ_cWSBrzD3TbTj0QlFSaJM/s320/IMG_3255.jpg" /></a>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjppTliUdeBzf4Cue3nlwAToGQZqgnvbxEOPicFevFFnxXBgr16EGu-pFo5g_ZhJx4K5WO5RI_Uuj8r7txcMvGWCbRYIPixJ1wUUrNju6yPCu3R5IAE_OH8HnP9eoOb1wX8r1h9p3KT4/s1600/IMG_3653.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjppTliUdeBzf4Cue3nlwAToGQZqgnvbxEOPicFevFFnxXBgr16EGu-pFo5g_ZhJx4K5WO5RI_Uuj8r7txcMvGWCbRYIPixJ1wUUrNju6yPCu3R5IAE_OH8HnP9eoOb1wX8r1h9p3KT4/s320/IMG_3653.jpg" /></a>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl7WRl3I4Ic51oOlUqtjSr9JOyw1WVenKdPCd507j8a5FtfhOQZEqWji0ZXCy4XTYJDDllt3yOEetXIjhioiqUVlfmxcwwZWi6qSQdoi0UmlMdStWbZ5H5U9Cf9ChnjQiwJu2rxhRjm_o/s1600/IMG_0178.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl7WRl3I4Ic51oOlUqtjSr9JOyw1WVenKdPCd507j8a5FtfhOQZEqWji0ZXCy4XTYJDDllt3yOEetXIjhioiqUVlfmxcwwZWi6qSQdoi0UmlMdStWbZ5H5U9Cf9ChnjQiwJu2rxhRjm_o/s320/IMG_0178.jpg" /></a>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDlej7mVrOBsZOPpk3Q4zA0J3_mtkVOV21L4ZRDc9ulrLQ3ncsLZPBxFo05t3ZU8pC1-w4vjcG6u9OT1MZcPIF297-Oo2ZcBFXgtrw2eEcs921D3s7vKar_-f1VpvBa-rBgUgCDlQ_y8/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCDlej7mVrOBsZOPpk3Q4zA0J3_mtkVOV21L4ZRDc9ulrLQ3ncsLZPBxFo05t3ZU8pC1-w4vjcG6u9OT1MZcPIF297-Oo2ZcBFXgtrw2eEcs921D3s7vKar_-f1VpvBa-rBgUgCDlQ_y8/s320/photo.JPG" /></a>
Next steps are simply to focus on recovery, and take steps towards reclaiming our lives. Pete and I will be "doing church" in a different way, attending a small house fellowship. We are excited at this new opportunity to grow in our love for God and others in a more intimate setting. As we were sharing yesterday, I said that it feels like I am nearing the completion of this journey. Did I even say that out loud? There is a freedom in breathing deeply, knowing that in the midst of turmoil, & the uncertainty of change, we still follow a path marked out for us.
A friend sent us this yesterday, and I found it moving and appropriate in light of the twist to our journey. It is called the Drake prayer:
"Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ."
We happily anticipate a future where cancer is behind us - if this is the place Jesus leads us to. If not, then we anticipate finding continuing grace, courage and peace in the face of challenges. For now, I feel a quickening inside me as I ponder the new experiences before Pete in his new job, and the new energy that is building inside me as I continue to heal. New, new new - I love that word! Thank you for your continuing support, prayers and love as we take these steps. We could not have come this far without you.Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-76736540583030398762013-04-08T08:58:00.001-07:002013-04-08T08:58:44.605-07:00Comfortable or Uncomfortable faithThis is my final week at WMB. It has been 3 weeks of saying goodbye and processing with hundreds of people. It has been a little harder yet a little better than I expected and I feel loved, that i will be missed, communicated with and affirmed in my decision to come here and work and my decision to move on and continue this journey.
Yesterday we had a final youth service where youth, leaders and some parents came out to spend some time together for our last time. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWno-yNJw1oYwx4hFfnIQdFUeWSytVVdzEUb4GxyrCdFbg2ksriJYi1fj1BgbzD99YfAhjvYhufozo5F7L7bNTJROP0jsCBsN0dP4kwephYQkaDXkA3I2tYwEuGUgvfwIMoUencDyUpG4/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWno-yNJw1oYwx4hFfnIQdFUeWSytVVdzEUb4GxyrCdFbg2ksriJYi1fj1BgbzD99YfAhjvYhufozo5F7L7bNTJROP0jsCBsN0dP4kwephYQkaDXkA3I2tYwEuGUgvfwIMoUencDyUpG4/s320/untitled.bmp" /></a> One cool thing we did was share communion together. Before we approached the table, we each were to write something we were grateful to God for or seeking forgiveness from God for and then stick those on a cross in the middle of the room. It was great to see all the notes stuck to the cross and littering the floor around the cross at the end of the service...an indication of Him in our lives. A morning of lots of hugs.
This morning I had breakfast with a young adult from the church who has grown up here through my time in the youth ministry. She is now a youth leader and devoted follower of Jesus. We spent time chatting about life and then she told me that I was the first person to truly make her feel uncomfortable in her faith lived out...she explained that I had challenged her and rattled her cage a bit asking her to consider and do things outside her comfort zone and for that she was grateful. I was grateful that she shared that with me. It meant a lot.
Should our faith be comfortable or uncomfortable? Was Jesus teaching a life of comfort or something else? <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnc3ETfXzTnQ_llfRoTMHfSSu8XBoQpvPkgHpki9umBl_iD3pUxiJiXxo-lgY49wUmD2DZFGrCnOv6cAttkaD7RYCMxp3IZ5ScCR2-OygLKNbJlr1dX1Dj9IZv3aDor7azRQYs7Oh9ng/s1600/untitled+3.bmp" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfnc3ETfXzTnQ_llfRoTMHfSSu8XBoQpvPkgHpki9umBl_iD3pUxiJiXxo-lgY49wUmD2DZFGrCnOv6cAttkaD7RYCMxp3IZ5ScCR2-OygLKNbJlr1dX1Dj9IZv3aDor7azRQYs7Oh9ng/s320/untitled+3.bmp" /></a> Not sure when He said ,"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" that He meant there was no yoke and no burden and but that there was work to do and he would be there with us.
You decide. Do not believe and live your live. Believe and do nothing for the Kingdom. Believe and follow in Jesus' dust picking up a cross and adventuring with Him into lonely places and frightening adventures. It truly is your choice.
Good luck. Tough decisions can lead down unique paths...peace and grace to you.Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-61233526706316515772013-04-03T09:36:00.001-07:002013-04-03T09:36:11.024-07:00...the next leg of the journey...The winds of change are blowing and it is both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I have resigned from my position as Family Pastor at WMB. I have been in that role for almost 5 years and have grown and developed in the position here and within this community. It has been a journey exploring how God works through his church and in spite of us gets things done.
There are so many people I will struggle with leaving behind but... the road is in front of me and I'm walking it.
The future is somewhat planned out. Half of weeks will be spent working as the new coordinator of MCC TOOLS in Toronto
<a href="http://mcco.ca/tools"></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnz65xfoSHMbhB8gBv8l-cGmkzy5tXtTAmTbdxEXKuX4g1O4wuBi7TJFtyjEBTICc9XvcJoXcKqngC5EWecLp_nVG8zXg1FMVWB8j4WD6OYW9QkfuehR5ssf0ZWQvlrtZtA1UAtSGjSaY/s1600/Sanctuary+-+82_340.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnz65xfoSHMbhB8gBv8l-cGmkzy5tXtTAmTbdxEXKuX4g1O4wuBi7TJFtyjEBTICc9XvcJoXcKqngC5EWecLp_nVG8zXg1FMVWB8j4WD6OYW9QkfuehR5ssf0ZWQvlrtZtA1UAtSGjSaY/s320/Sanctuary+-+82_340.jpg" /></a>
This will entail hosting teams from various churches and organizations and connecting them with the various service agencies in downtown Toronto that serve the poor and marginalized. I am not exactly sure how that will unfold but I'm excited and ready to roll. the other half of my time will spent working in renovation/construction and landscaping with a good friend of mine from Guelph.
This means that for now, Cindi and I will continue to live on the riverbank with our 4 dogs and chickens.
Cindi continues to heal from the chemo damage at a slower rate than we would like but is beginning to turn and consider the journey back to work as a VP in the Waterloo school system next September.
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjisBuiQYeFP0dB7YTa3vZrCPTawZQ1iE6tQPWMMxlIvPn2OZJshyKnBedLjFPS-dUWKVFfhuf2sRPR6zSvSDcAq7G4YIXyyf8dbA5yKKmzxMfDV08K_DB_YNq07bxvS5LNKevPfpW8Mm8/s1600/SunsetRoad.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjisBuiQYeFP0dB7YTa3vZrCPTawZQ1iE6tQPWMMxlIvPn2OZJshyKnBedLjFPS-dUWKVFfhuf2sRPR6zSvSDcAq7G4YIXyyf8dbA5yKKmzxMfDV08K_DB_YNq07bxvS5LNKevPfpW8Mm8/s320/SunsetRoad.jpg" /></a>
It has definitely been a year...looking forward to the next leg of the journey.
Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-48006517801934830892013-03-13T09:55:00.000-07:002013-03-13T09:55:47.375-07:00Looking BeyondToday I am officially one month post-treatment! I think I am beginning to see some 'green shoots' of improvement: today I got up, and was able to walk with less pain. This is a first since the arrival of the neuropathy in December, so I was pretty excited this morning. I was even able to take all 4 dogs out for a long walk, and while my feet were pretty sore by the time I got back, it was worth it to enjoy the time outside again. My hands are still quite painful, but I am hopeful that the bursts of tingling and achy bones are signs that the nerves are beginning to regenerate. I still feel fatigued, but am able to cut back on the medications, so at least I am not quite as drugged. (Sixteen pills each day has proven a bit much, so I am relieved if I can get by with fewer meds to manage my symptoms). Small steps towards improvement have helped to keep things on a positive note, but it is a discipline to stay focussed on the improvements rather than getting impatient with the slow pace of recovery.
As I was walking with the dogs, snow fell in large fluffy flakes around us, and it gave me time to contemplate the simple joy of being able to move more freely even for such a short distance. The stroll reminded me of the passage in Hebrews 12, where Paul compares our lives to the experience of running a race. His language in these chapters acknowledges that the race is sometimes hard; he speaks of persevering, of not growing "weary or faint-hearted." Instead of focussing on how hard the journey is, he exhorts his readers to remember they are surrounded by a "crowd of witnesses" - folks who have lived lives of faithful service and who have gone on to heaven. Paul draws a picture of those faithful saints, watching us as we tough it out here, and reminds us that we have a crowd cheering us on with each step. I began to think about the many friends and family who suffered hardship while they lived here, and then died - but were faithful despite the struggles and pain. As I walked my menagerie today, I recalled by name and face those who touched my life, and have passed away due to accident or illness. Relatives, friends, neighbours...Rather than feeling sorrowful, I actually enjoyed the memories of these dear ones, and considered the legacy they left with me. I could recount the suffering that each one experienced - whether from lung cancer, or leukaemia, or a host of various illnesses or accidents - or even political persecution of those overseas. Their own journeys provide examples of faithfulness in the midst of adversities of all kinds. It was humbling to consider these personal histories, and helps me to frame my own experience in a positive light. Someday, we will swap tales! We will remember together the challenges, and celebrate that in the midst of it all, none of us was ever alone, and that we experienced God's faithfulness with each faltering step along the way.
Paul also reminds us that the key to completing the race is to look beyond: to see the rewards that await us, whether we stumble along, or run freely, on the path laid before us. Sometimes, I grow impatient and wonder why the neuropathy clings to my hands and feet - but my impatience is tempered when I look beyond this "momentary affliction" and consider the future. Somewhere, someday, I will be free of the pain and able to return to my life, fully healed. When I wonder why God has put my feet on a path called "cancer," I have to look beyond by trusting that He will equip me with the tools I need to make the journey. As I begin to look for His presence in the midst of the struggle, only then do I enjoy the grace and peace to be found in waiting on his healing touch.
Until "then" - the end of this pathway through cancer - I can only give thanks, recalling with gratitude the blessings provided by so many faithful friends and family along the way!
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQhol0smVEgT_c9-wDUOrEsouc59hhR5KWzfRqx_MAyCagjxShR-HIOc-tQCSgTq-iX1CQ_QRIU2LlSOIe64j97yXqeZHbzosP4SGqwDJPyTw6CjdChN5kFtowEs5P5VNtlCz8Nq7VsI0/s1600/sneakers-worn-holes.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQhol0smVEgT_c9-wDUOrEsouc59hhR5KWzfRqx_MAyCagjxShR-HIOc-tQCSgTq-iX1CQ_QRIU2LlSOIe64j97yXqeZHbzosP4SGqwDJPyTw6CjdChN5kFtowEs5P5VNtlCz8Nq7VsI0/s320/sneakers-worn-holes.jpg" /></a>
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or faint-hearted....Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." (Hebrews 12)Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-77649540429237961902013-03-03T08:14:00.001-08:002013-03-03T08:14:32.356-08:00Pathetic Fallacy
A "pathetic fallacy" is a literary device, whereby the author uses the weather to reflect the mood of the protagonist. My recovery has been very much reflected by the changes in weather as of late. Some days I feel brighter, a bit more energetic - like the sunny, crisp winter days we have had. On an "up" note, I am seeing my hair come back. Funny, I was more excited to see the return of my eyebrows than anything else. That little bit of definition on my face makes me feel less like a cancer patient, and more like myself!
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlvg236Q4okjYWYNPnKkAV9i1gPwoKOA8FoylvC8ZmM3iF-MkHZhGSvJ0ylQy93Hnhk2fzhVInoQO7mkhAtpAcZHKUppO0hVJn8TkKn9e4-lU7ynerU9eVn_z8VmZDwsQdnD-xJojWU-A/s1600/IMG_0179.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlvg236Q4okjYWYNPnKkAV9i1gPwoKOA8FoylvC8ZmM3iF-MkHZhGSvJ0ylQy93Hnhk2fzhVInoQO7mkhAtpAcZHKUppO0hVJn8TkKn9e4-lU7ynerU9eVn_z8VmZDwsQdnD-xJojWU-A/s320/IMG_0179.jpg" /></a>
But the sunny days are often punctuated by grey weather and strong winds. As some of you know, my last day of treatment was overshadowed by a potential new lump. Talk about a swift moving storm! It took my breath away to realize how little control anyone really has over this situation. Thankfully, that gale blew over quickly, as the ultrasounds revealed nothing of concern. A more lingering shadow comes in the form of the peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage) that continues to plague me. This is likely to fade over time... so it requires ongoing patience. I have not seen any significant improvement since it arrived 10 weeks ago. In order to help me with the pain/tingling/burning in my hands and feet, I have been prescribed a long list of medications: sixteen pills a day.
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBCoAOlkRKM05ZLMrvOtnC7Rdw-LeKfus62fxfl2FZOJHzpM7ZjuIqXiJcjzvsN9zKwR_uuSuf08DPJZ6XI_g7h48ISfpIEhnxlKW1Xq78FY5xjGCSVo1-YxvWYK39vzvCTjP5RtZlOc/s1600/IMG_0180.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBCoAOlkRKM05ZLMrvOtnC7Rdw-LeKfus62fxfl2FZOJHzpM7ZjuIqXiJcjzvsN9zKwR_uuSuf08DPJZ6XI_g7h48ISfpIEhnxlKW1Xq78FY5xjGCSVo1-YxvWYK39vzvCTjP5RtZlOc/s320/IMG_0180.JPG" /></a>
So the February/March winter weather truly reflects the ups and downs of recovery. Lots of grey, cloudy skies, interrupted by sunshine at times. Getting through this period of recovery is tough slogging at times. I want to be back on my feet, to return to life as it was before cancer...but there is no rushing this process. All I can do is continue to wait for full healing and trust that the purposes set out for this time in my life will be achieved. The weather of my walk continues to be unpredictable, and I can only kneel in submission to the One who is the source of strength, step by step. "The Eternal should be honored and revered; He has heard my cries for help. The Eternal is the source of my strength and the shield that guards me. When I learn to rest and truly trust Him, He send His help. This is why my heart is singing! I open my mouth to praise Him, and thankfulness rises as song. The Eternal gives life and power to all His chosen ones; to his anointed He is a sturdy fortress. Rescue your people, and bring prosperity to your legacy, may they know you as a shepherd, carrying them at all times." (Psalm 28, 6 - 9, The Voice). <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizfUuz6_23eiutuvsl-Gck1ecZRfdx7xDz8I7kjZ6cX5TpSj1ce5JB7df9SxfEAVdEq_CJoRd7dFd2TznhROGrqDkjUddKl5th2dgSlFNrbOOUnxF1dTv1zZurIhhikcccIzaRu6fFd80/s1600/shelter-in-the-storm.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizfUuz6_23eiutuvsl-Gck1ecZRfdx7xDz8I7kjZ6cX5TpSj1ce5JB7df9SxfEAVdEq_CJoRd7dFd2TznhROGrqDkjUddKl5th2dgSlFNrbOOUnxF1dTv1zZurIhhikcccIzaRu6fFd80/s320/shelter-in-the-storm.jpg" /></a>Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-25894804174625134342013-02-21T08:47:00.002-08:002013-02-21T08:50:59.201-08:00Photos of our storyFrom Barbados to Nicaragua to New York to Algonquin to Kitchener-Waterloo the story continues with FAMLY and FRiENDS, PUPPiES and ADVENTURE!!!<a 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href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXQNL6RzCCWc_4WIxHEpH2WmA1drTZi4gPQjL5SnEDKknRZwOi3kuFabN7RekcTs81Pr1-BQ_yL2cx9aQw3NgrSu84seO_SQo4BzWl_ziZPoPxqeQPpKTsG0QQ6O4LBOe_WJke7qd55Ac/s1600/IMG_3336.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXQNL6RzCCWc_4WIxHEpH2WmA1drTZi4gPQjL5SnEDKknRZwOi3kuFabN7RekcTs81Pr1-BQ_yL2cx9aQw3NgrSu84seO_SQo4BzWl_ziZPoPxqeQPpKTsG0QQ6O4LBOe_WJke7qd55Ac/s320/IMG_3336.JPG" /></a>Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-61139256987197661432013-02-20T08:57:00.002-08:002013-02-20T08:57:59.140-08:00Our home- the foster factorWell, February is coming to an end. Cancer treatments are ended. Life has turned a corner in our home and we are looking at a new normal. Besides the tsunami of cancer treatment that has enveloped our lives for the past 9 months, there has been the foster factor here on the riverbank. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO6y0MvrWiFK3nv5PK1xFQ-mNrs-hKrhagxhFB1YOlHenTBxBIZERNxg4KdXD3ALf9tblL9CgX0zCfj5hKWqelKf8JuZS5BLKltbKYtXxgcV9fqKTg4mHSDnNmjUbjCROYhgkAbBhKyf4/s1600/FollowingJesus.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO6y0MvrWiFK3nv5PK1xFQ-mNrs-hKrhagxhFB1YOlHenTBxBIZERNxg4KdXD3ALf9tblL9CgX0zCfj5hKWqelKf8JuZS5BLKltbKYtXxgcV9fqKTg4mHSDnNmjUbjCROYhgkAbBhKyf4/s320/FollowingJesus.jpg" /></a>Arnel, our foster son turned 18, pulled his school marks up from from 50s and 60s to high 70s, celebrated living with us for a year and bought his first car. What a gift he has been to us, with his gentle faith, his loving care for Cindi through her treatment and his slow journey building a life in our home. Our dog Jake adores him and that's the litmus test isn't it?
Our three rescued and adopted dogs Sammy, Jake and Harley have been great, albeit expensive at times what with cuts and sickness and even a Quail egg blockage in the intestines for poor Harley. They are most definitely a part of the family fabric here. We saw our first "Friendly Giant" foster dog come and go last year. Maggie was a lovely 75lb. lapdog. She was with us for a few months of fostering and now lives permanently just outside of Parry Sound on the edge of a lake with a wonderful couple.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUxFHz4XecTkNMJQRhO3RRVzmafoTKXT8D4CVzV_N4leeYq9RVSlK7hKZITlNlBJvpeTzQYe02AZeFldLN7WM2q5d8FHqDEizjGvPm_4B8MswDwHjgmGH4y2IsoFuz8qUhKJxpgiiJJn4/s1600/DSC_0927.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUxFHz4XecTkNMJQRhO3RRVzmafoTKXT8D4CVzV_N4leeYq9RVSlK7hKZITlNlBJvpeTzQYe02AZeFldLN7WM2q5d8FHqDEizjGvPm_4B8MswDwHjgmGH4y2IsoFuz8qUhKJxpgiiJJn4/s320/DSC_0927.JPG" /></a>
Yesterday we rescued our second "Friendly Giant" dog, an 8 year old Mastiff mix. She's probably about 15-20 pounds overweight and clocks in at about 110lbs. She's a talker and amazingly friendly. Sad story is that her owner lost his job, his disability, his home and pretty much everything and had to make the tough decision to give her up so she would be cared for. He lives out of his truck and friends basements. She would never have made it at Humane Society - probably too old to be adopted out quickly. So here we are, rounding a corner, fostering people and dogs and trying to live lives of honesty and integrity and sometimes actually getting that right.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgla6SqJW5RaB10UpxSj3a5b3mt7XoQp30ceGfucv6jt-itaOOlj8gRjBVILWUt-O7-JIr8Xw79HRmYthB0H1heLe3KJtWGdJkMlxvWW86gRnL0WlB7GETxj-HA32KsQ4NpotRrqAzBqJE/s1600/dog+002.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgla6SqJW5RaB10UpxSj3a5b3mt7XoQp30ceGfucv6jt-itaOOlj8gRjBVILWUt-O7-JIr8Xw79HRmYthB0H1heLe3KJtWGdJkMlxvWW86gRnL0WlB7GETxj-HA32KsQ4NpotRrqAzBqJE/s320/dog+002.jpg" /></a>
I believe that Jesus was in the business of redeeming and because we want to follow him (although that may be hard) ... Well we believe we should be in the redeeming business too. It just makes sense to my heart. So in the midst of the dog hair and teenage laundry we foster and we love it. It has proven great for the soul...PetePete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-12416145302073907912013-02-13T14:23:00.000-08:002013-02-13T14:23:03.116-08:00The Celebration that Almost Wasn't<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmnG_aWkjEawazYcmrYY39FF4bQ2vU7iicVg2G2gTaOrfS2rJ4A_dwYvGX7mKdz7YT_7SYhz132AFd2phOn9I-Fgvof9MfGOFB9JBzF4GXcUksAFBpIGW7Fl4CrRX0pGIwOeZqbBfvepU/s1600/Balloons-Image.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmnG_aWkjEawazYcmrYY39FF4bQ2vU7iicVg2G2gTaOrfS2rJ4A_dwYvGX7mKdz7YT_7SYhz132AFd2phOn9I-Fgvof9MfGOFB9JBzF4GXcUksAFBpIGW7Fl4CrRX0pGIwOeZqbBfvepU/s320/Balloons-Image.jpg" /></a>
February 12, 2013 will always be a day to remember. The final day of treatment for breast cancer! The first steps towards freedom from daily medical appointments, parking at the hospital, long walks down crowded hallways, and cold fingers prodding and poking. Time to shed the aches and pains of active treatment and just focus on rest and recovery. And celebrating! So the plan was to complete the final treatment, check in with the family doctor at the end of her busy day, and then go home to celebrate. Dear friends were waiting to make homemade waffles as a nod towards pancake Tuesday. But while my family doctor examines me, she finds what looks like another lump in the same breast. Suddenly i am going home with a very different plan in play: another mammogram to be scheduled, along with an ultrasound - which is likely to fall in the middle of our little mini-getaway planned for next week. WOW - talk about a curve ball! So instead of going home and celebrating with my husband and friends, i have to deliver some sobering news. We had planned some serious parties: lunch with my sister, mom and niece on Wednesday. Friday leave for a weekend with friends in Parry Sound. Next week, go to Toronto to relax, unwind, visit one of our favourite haunts, the zoo. Now all of this is put on hold while we wait to hear from the doctor about when the new mammogram is scheduled... Deflated does not begin to cover it.
Fast forward to this morning: our neighbour, herself a breast cancer survivor, hears the update. Another lump, with ominous possibilities. So she makes a few calls and suddenly i have a mammogram and ultrasound scheduled for THis AFTERNOON! it is a whirlwind, but we leave the hospital with good news: nothing suspicious at first glance. Looks like scar tissue, or perhaps something fibrous, but not anything to worry about. Nothing out of the ordinary. Music to my ears! The celebrations are back on, and there is no lingering cloud of worry hanging over us. THANK YOU DEAR NEiGHBOUR - you know who you are!!!
Recovering from cancer means living a "new normal." i think this experience was our first step into this new reality. Pete asked me today if this was always going to happen when our doctors and oncologists found a suspicious lump. The answer to that is yes - now that i have survived cancer, the medical community will always act in the interest of caution. That is part of the "new normal" for us. i am thankful to have such a thorough doctor! i am also thankful to be surrounded by friends and family who are so quick to respond to our cries for help and prayer. Another friend in Nicaragua sent me the following verse that has helped her breathe in difficult moments:
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-47144317081167602222013-01-31T07:57:00.002-08:002013-01-31T07:57:32.122-08:00i went to see the chemo oncologist yesterday for a follow up. My mouth is almost completely healed, and i am well on my way to eating a more varied diet. Good news! As for my hands & feet: i have developed something called "peripheral neuropathy." This is a common side effect of the specific chemo drugs used in my treatment. Lots of people experience it, and it often interferes with the chemo regimen. Sometimes it gets so bad, that doctors have to adjust the chemo or stop treatment completely so that no more damage is incurred. Once again, i managed to get lucky in that the neuropathy began after the final treatment. So i was able to get the full dose of chemo, which is important in fighting the cancer. i am grateful for that. Peripheral neuropathy involves the nerves in the hands and feet, causing tingling, burning and pain. i am clumsy, and sometimes drop things. Depending on the task, it can be a challenge to get it done - zippers, buttons, turning the page on a book take a little more time and effort. My feet are sore and tender at best; at worst there is pain in my heels and toes. Thus my gait is different, as my body tries to compensate and find the least painful way to move. Someone asked yesterday if i can walk at all. Yes i can, but not for long periods, and standing in one place for a period of time is very difficult. So i am able to do tasks that do not involve long periods of standing or walking very far. it is a matter of learning to adjust my activities as much as possible. For example, i can continue my regimen at the gym, because the workout routine involves more sitting and lying down than it does standing. However the elliptical at home is off limits until my feet heal up. :( As for a recovery timeline: the oncologist advised me to "think months, not days." She told me the very worst case she saw took a year to heal. i kinda knew from my own research that time is the only thing that will bring healing - these nerves have to regenerate themselves and so that means i need to be patient with this recovery. in the meantime, my medication has been tripled in order to dull the discomfort. The drawback is that it will make me feel drowsy which, coupled with the increasing fatigue from the radiation treatment, will probably put me back in the comfy chairs with Sam for a few weeks again. Sam continues to be a constant companion, and has taken to following me around the house as i hobble from room to room, dealing with daily tasks. He curls up by my feet when i am on the computer, laying on a blanket. i know he prefers sharing the chair with me though so he will be happy when i retreat once more to the comfort of the living room and stay put with him! So the journey continues, with all its ups and downs.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A dear friend sent me some encouragement the other day, in the form of this Scripture from Psalm 18: "As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights." (v. 30-33). Pete and i are trusting God to continue his healing, invisibly reworking my body cell by cell. i love the imagery in these verses: as i limp along through the upcoming months, i rest in the knowledge that with time i will definitely stand up, strong and healthy. Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-52100288349413633602013-01-31T04:16:00.001-08:002013-01-31T05:28:33.920-08:00The JourneyWell January has come to an end and time ticks on. Yesterday was a low day and those come and go regularly. Last night just before bed Cindi heaved a big sigh and said, "I am so ready for this to be done". It gently breaks my heart to hear those words and to realize that the journey is not over yet and we still have a way to go.
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But ... there is talk of the future in our house. We had a dinner out last night - the first in a long time - and it was nice to have a steak and a gentle conversation about "tomorrow" with my wife. Last weekend we had our grandchildren stay overnight for the first time and it was absolutely restorative in so many ways. Their parents ended up a bit stranded on a road trip and we were able to send help their way. We enjoy supporting 2 little waifs who live in a Nicaragua community where I devote some of my spare time yearly. We are helping our pseudo adopted son get his first car on the road and all of these things make us feel alive and engaged. These are the chapters of the journey that breathe life and hope into the mess.
Can't believe the toll this has taken on Cindi's body and energy. Can't believe the toll it's taken on both of our hearts. This journey has tested our metal and in many ways has found us lacking but ... There is the love of our friends and family and the love of our God and that is enough to take the next step.
What will tomorrow hold? Well, (with a deep sigh) I believe it will hold more of tha same and frankly, we are prepared for it.
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This whole process has given us a new perspective of things around us for sure. Friends who are living elsewhere are missed more. Family who we may have taken for granted have become more precious. Setbacks are felt in deeper and more real ways. Life that is somewhat frivolous has been put in an honest perspective. This has been an opportunity to measure the worth of who we are, what we do, who we live beside and the God who holds our hand.
We feel tired but blessed. We feel a deep need to pause and make sure we are really getting what we are being taught through this. This is a story and although we are not writing it, it is ours and we want to be able to tell it well, with integrity and honesty and to honour Him.
So...on with the day...PetePete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-33286885230857635042013-01-28T06:56:00.002-08:002013-01-28T06:56:21.873-08:00Down to the Nitty Gritty
Today is one of those days. Nothing seems easy, not even finding keys or getting cars on the road this morning! We are feeling the strain of this journey very keenly in the last few weeks. Perhaps it is because both i am impatient to move forward in my recovery. it is difficult to have to wait for so many things to sort themselves out. Physically i am moving forward, yes, but it is SLOW GOING and at times follows a pattern of one step forward, two steps back. There is damage in my system from chemo that lingers, making my bones achy and joints sore. The worst is the pain in my feet, which hinders my walking. i can get around, but often at a slow pace, or a downright shuffle if i have been on my feet too much. Last week the folks at the gym slowed down my workout plans here at home, concerned that i might be pushing my heart too hard. So I was banned from the elliptical for a few weeks until my system strengthens. Not a happy conversation, but i have not touched the home gym since. And then there are the daily trips to the hospital. Believe me it is humbling to walk so slowly and gingerly down the hospital corridors, and watch seniors with canes pass me. Really? Sigh. So i look for the green shoots of recovery to encourage me. My hair continues to come back, but it is much more silver than when it left. Hmmm. Kinda indicative of the strain this journey has been both physically and emotionally. My husband, bless his heart, shares so much of this anxiety. He told a dear friend the other day that he is "sick and tired of seeing his wife sick and tired." in some ways, i think this has been harder on Pete. The rest of my life shut down so i could focus on my medical concerns, giving me more space to get through this. But for him, nothing else shifted: he still goes to work each day, trying to cope with the day-to-day demands of ministry, maintaining all those relationships, managing details, supporting staff, parents and students. And then there are the simple realities of home where his wife just... can't. So he picks up that slack too. All very willingly. All with good humour and a loving spirit. But as he does all this, there is the constant drain on his spirit and his heart. There is not much margin in his life these days, and that takes a toll. As we pray, and trust God, we are still oh-so-aware of our humanness. We are frail and inadequate to this task! So as we walk this pathway, we both get weary. We are indeed fragile "jars of clay" and "hard pressed on every side." We are "perplexed" sometimes at the whys of this experience... and yet choose to live by faith that we will be neither "crushed" nor left in "
despair." This morning i am taking a deep breath, and reaffirming that Pete and will not be "abandoned... struck down..." or "destroyed" by this experience of cancer. (2 Cor. 4:7-9). <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-84143708718975646512013-01-14T10:20:00.000-08:002013-01-14T10:20:27.253-08:00One month after chemotherapy and...
... I have begun to grow "peach fuzz" on my head. It is like fine baby hair that is standing up on end - and it is WHITE (uh oh). Really hoping my dark hair will wake up soon and make an appearance. (Pete keeps asking me why I am concerned about this - "What's wrong with white hair?"he wants to know). Perhaps a few of you ladies could explain it to him.
...I have developed neuropathy in my hands and feet. This is nerve damage from the chemotherapy, and it is like a constant tingling/burning sensation. My feet in particular are affected, and quite sensitive and painful if I am on them too much. I am not able to go stocking foot, and have to have a good pair of running shoes on all the time, to give my feet support. There is no treatment for this, just painkillers to make life a bit easier. I am told this will fade over time as my nerves begin to regenerate themselves, but there is no set timetable for this healing, either. So a bit of patience is required on my part. In the meantime, I move slowly and hobble around like an old woman sometimes, but it does feel good to begin to MOVE again even if my feet are sore.
...my energy is coming back, and I can be more active. It's so great to not be chained to the chair in the living room anymore. (Sam disagrees with this, of course.) It will take time before I can say I am back to full speed, as the fatigue is hard to shake off. But it's getting better, and that is wonderful.
...I begin radiation therapy shortly - as in this week! Radiation involves 4 weeks of daily 30 minute hospital visits. Side effects involve increasing levels of fatigue, and perhaps a bit of sore skin. Folks who have undergone this therapy tell me it is much easier to manage than chemo, which is good news indeed.
Pete and I continue to be blessed and humbled by the continuing love and support of family, friends and our church community. The hardships and challenges of this journey have been softened by the outpouring of encouragement, prayers and visits. This has made our experience with cancer richer, and a reminder that we do not walk this difficult pathway alone. Thank you so much for joining us and supporting us. The result, as you can see, is that we can still experience joy and laughter in the midst of the mess (as the picture demonstrates).
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As we head into the next phase of treatment, both Pete and I can agree with the psalmist when he declares the following:
Praise be to the Lord,
for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him. (Psalm 28:6-7)Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-69054639266060052362012-12-27T10:08:00.000-08:002012-12-27T10:08:00.850-08:00Well, here we are: Dec. 27, almost two weeks since my last chemo treatment. I have been fielding one question a lot: "Are you feeling better?" The answer to that is yes and no. I can't describe to you the enormous relief I feel at finishing the chemo regimen. What a fantastic Christmas gift! That in itself is a huge boost. Physically, though, I still have a long road to recovery. The chemicals should be out of my system completely by mid-January. But the reality is that each treatment left behind a lot of damage. So my body still needs time to recuperate after 4 months of constant attack. Right now, I am still dealing with symptoms from the last chemo treatment - tingling in my hands and feet, and some numbness. I have a bit of bone pain, and there is still some infection in my mouth. (Although this is improving slowly). And the fatigue slows me down on most days. I am told that full recovery from cancer treatment takes anywhere from 6 - 12 months after one is finished treatment. Barring any complications, I will complete radiation therapy in February, and then take a few months to get back on my feet fully. In the midst of all this, I can't help but be grateful for the love and support of family and friends... We have had a great Christmas - one of the best because this year has truly been about cherishing people and time spent together. I celebrate the idea of "Emmanuel" - God with us - because each of us face challenges in life, and some of them do not disappear over the holidays. But even so, isn't it wonderful to consider that God is among us in all that messiness, sharing our struggles, and working in our midst in spite of them? That is my great celebration this holiday season. The road ahead to recovery may be long and have a few bumps along the way. But I am not walking it alone: "Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." And, as always, I have my faithful sidekick, Sam, who tags along each day. (Looks like he is quite stressed by this whole thing, doesn't it?!)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-90172462549988109942012-12-18T07:05:00.002-08:002012-12-18T07:10:05.378-08:00Toughest road yet but ...As we move slowly towards the end of the chemicals in Cindi's body (and apparently towards the end of the world or the Mayan Calendar) this has been the toughest road yet but there is a huge shining light at the end of it. Cindi has been extremely tired this last round and going through deep soreness and pain. The "TAXOL" has gone deep into her body and accumulated over the last 8 weeks so this is what she is pressing through...with courage and endurance. The high of the last treatment is now over and the race is not quite done. They say that it is the last few kilometres of the marathons that are the hardest - that the first 20 or 30 kilometres were simply a warmup to the final legs of the journey. This appears true for Cindi's race.
She still has her viral infection in her mouth and will continue to take her meds for that, hoping that it will clear up and go away. Mushy food is still the name of the game for now and perhaps we will puree the turkey.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We have celebrated good times with our family and last Saturday did some family photos for Grandma with the grandkids and great grandkids. Fun with those and then a hearty few bowls of early winter chili - perfect.
Today is day 4 after the chemo. Christmas will be day 10. New Years will be day 17 and by then we hope for some normal days again and better feelings physically. All in His hands.
Was asked a few days ago to think about what my sweet spot is at work. What an interesting question. Considering that question has left me realizing how tired and done this journey has left me. Maybe it will require some time holding Cindi's hand and walking the trails with her and the dogs before any clear answers appear. She is my priority and my sweet spot right now and it has been somewhat bittersweet watching her press through it all. However, this too shall pass and i am so proud of her.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is the final post before the end of the world. :) Should we make it to the 22nd - we'll continue to share along the way and perhaps will have some bright and cheery stories. May each of you have an amazing Christmas and a wonderful celebration of His birthday. May you each be moved deeply and have a sense of how much you and I are loved.
Here is a story we used last week in Sunday School to point to the essence of Christmas at a heart level. ENJOY!
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It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so. It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas--oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it: overspending; the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma; the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else. Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids-- all kids-- and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition-- one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to sickness. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.
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Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-51357752928328162492012-12-14T15:27:00.000-08:002012-12-14T15:27:05.917-08:00Here we are...Well, here we are at the end of the first and worst part of this journey. Cindi graduated today with a certificate and everything. As we were finished dinner and cleaning up, she looked at her graduation certificate from the chemo centre and said that this was probably the most significant grad document she had ever received.
It was a mixture of emotions today. I was happy and yet stressed. I wanted everything to go well and I was spending the day at work getting everything done so I could take the next 2 weeks and simply be with Cindi through the final healing from her sessions. Late in the day she sent me this photo and I knew that we had passed a milestone of sorts. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I texted her and told her how beautiful she was and that she was my hero.
Family and friends...you have been amazing throughout this journey and we know it has not been easy on you.
What is next? Well... a time of rest and healing from the cure (the chemo). Cindi is still dealing with the virus that evolved during this process and continues on those meds. There is danger of that spreading and it is still serious. Yet we look forward to a new year, a quiet January and then radiation for 4 weeks.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Time to breathe now and hope that the worst is over and it is a new day.
So yes, here we are...grateful, happy, hopeful and holding each others hand.
Psalm 91:4 says this, "He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection." That is my prayer for my wife as we journey ahead. Peace and grace to you all.Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-38400546931329345742012-12-03T08:17:00.000-08:002012-12-03T08:17:08.230-08:00"stretcher or carrier"We are on the home stretch for this opening foray of cancer eradication. Hard hit, Cindi is pressing through this in amazing ways and with a perseverance and calm that amaze me all the time. I simply do the dishes, pick up, spend time praying and worrying over her and generally feel fairly useless in this big picture. I have had to learn the value of these little tasks around the house that need doing (loving sweeping, vacuuming, dish doing, lunch prepping and water boiling to name a few) and being aware of how my beautiful wife is doing.
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Chatting with a friend the other day he made a cool statement that made a lot of sense to me and helped both of us along in this journey. He said, "You know we all want to be the stretcher carriers but sometimes we need to be the ones in the stretchers." In a culture where we highly value the ones who help or "carry the stretchers" it is so hard to be the ones being carried. We all ask, "Where is the worth in that?" Slowly and painfully Cindi and I are beginning to comprehend the extreme beauty in receiving, the blessing in having others step into the gap and the frightening grace to be found in submission. We have found there is a wonderful peace in submission to God's plan and the expressed love of others. It wipes away the strange values we place on our own actions and leaves us simply cared for by others - valued not by our own actions but by others. Strangely this has not been an easy place to get to.
Like in the story 2000 years ago where a bunch of friends break into the roof of a house and lower their friend to Jesus for healing, Cindi and I want to be the roof guys...but today, we are being lowered in so many ways.
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Following Jesus is hard. Accepting grace and the offered hand of others is hard. Walking in these strange counter cultural valleys is hard. But...we have come to discover it is beautiful.
May you each have the opportunity to journey into the hard places and experience difficult grace. May those opportunities grow and expand your love for Him and for others. May you find yourself on the stretcher at times - being carried and cared for. May grace be sufficient for you and may you find the precious freedom that is there.Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-11185527553649852012-11-27T17:09:00.000-08:002012-11-27T17:09:51.981-08:00Six down, two to go.
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The last 2 weeks have been full of ups and downs. On the up side, I have been enrolled in a fitness program designed for cancer patients undergoing treatment. It feels good to move, to stretch, to just get up off the couch and get out into the outside world again. I am also far less nauseous with this particular chemo drug, which is a plus!
On the down side, the fatigue seems to be harder to shake off. There is also more physical pain involved in this chemo regimen than in the first half of my treatment. I am managing, but those days when it hurts to move certainly take more energy from my sparse reserves. Although there are only 2 more treatments to go, I must admit that I have had moments when I wonder where I will find the stamina to get through them.
Today I went to the doctor for the usual check up on blood work. Tomorrow was supposed to be chemo #7. Second last dose. However, I have had a small set back: I have been fighting off a virus this week, and what should have been a simple cold sore has turned into a bit of a monster. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have a series of blisters on my upper lip, under my nose, and on the roof of my mouth, running down the back of my throat. It is very unpleasant to put it mildly. At first, I thought this was a reaction to the chemo, as mouth sores are a common side effect. Inwardly, I was struggling with the idea that I might have to endure this particular problem for another month. When I went to the doctor today, though, she had some good news for me: this is not a side effect, just a viral infection that has gotten out of control because of the strain on my immune system. There just was nothing left for my body to use in fighting this, so it blew up almost overnight. The end result is that I am on painkillers and an antiviral for the next 7 days. If the blisters subside enough in the next 48 hours, then I will be able to proceed with chemo #7 on Friday. (Please keep this in your prayer, as the chemo will be delayed until my mouth is sufficiently healed.)
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It is clear to me that the strength to finish this journey is not to be found within myself. Instead, I am drawing comfort from prayer, and the support of family and friends who have sent me encouraging notes and emails at just the right moment. I have to rely on the knowledge that even in the midst of this adversity, I am not alone. One of the things I am learning about is the power of thankfulness: it can always be worse than it is. Today, for example, I sat beside a woman who explained that she was on chemo treatment #28. She had completed her first round of chemo, relapsed, and is now undergoing another treatment plan. The man seated beside her responded with "Thirty-seven." (Gulp). These folks put my single digit count into perspective.
When I struggle, I recall something my grandmother used to always say:"This too shall pass." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As I wait (sometimes impatiently) to get through the treatment regimen, I have tried to list the many things for which I can be thankful. I am thankful for the crowd of people who surround me and uplift me in prayer. The many emails, notes and phone calls lift my spirits and help me keep my eyes on the finish line. My family is a constant source of love and encouragement. My relationship with Jesus is the bedrock of each day, good or bad. Without these things, I would not be able to continue. With your continued prayers, encouragement and love, I am able to keep moving toward the finish line. Above all, I am thankful that "the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations." (Psalm 100:4)
Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-84041175586922528702012-11-26T09:05:00.000-08:002012-11-26T09:05:13.291-08:00...an ask for prayer...Last night and today have been rough for Cindi and we're not done yet.
Cindi is struggling through deep pain in her bones and muscles, incredibly sore knees and joints and her mouth is breaking down with sores and rawness. It is hard to eat, it is hard to find respit from the pain, it is hard.
I would ask you if you would simply bow your heads for a moment and ask for some help and a break from the hardness of these days.
Thank you good friends and family. It is so hard to be beside her as she journeys.
May His peace find my beautiful wife today and may it find you.
Pete<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-39263661867994686782012-11-24T11:12:00.000-08:002012-11-24T11:12:01.330-08:00BEAUTIFUL<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-87853450817544181232012-11-24T11:04:00.001-08:002012-11-24T11:04:36.886-08:00trying to finish well?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Funny how hard it is to get to the finish line when you can almost see it but are not quite there. <i>Ever feel that way?</i> Finishing up the fall cleanup this year in my yard was brutal. I had this one tree - a Monster Norway Maple - that just wouldn't give up it's leaves. I had everything else done and wanted to be finished but this baby wouldn't drop...and then it did. Man! Reluctantly I went back out and finished the job. That final cleanup seemed harder than all the work I had done before. <i>Why is that?</i>
I believe we want to finish and that ending is our goal. Let's just get this done and be done with it. But ... Cindi and I are learning that just isn't the "way". I believe (reluctantly) that the <b>journey</b> between start to finish may truly be what it's about. A journey involving struggle and suffering, integrity and truth, challenge and failures. The end may feel good - for a moment - but in reality everything of value happens along the way, the rejoicing and sadness, the encouraging of one another and heartfelt prayers, the love expressed and received. <i>Once all that's over - then what?</i>
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So we choose to stay on the path right now and know that the end is in site but we will keep our steps focused on the journey.
Next chemo treatment - Wednesday of next week. The 2nd last one and another milestone on this journey. My beautiful wife continues to amaze me and this process has certainly grown us closer together and taught us so much. As much as I wish this had never happened, I realize as well that I wouldn't have missed this for the world because of all the special things that have come out of it. Amazing friends, astounding family, real conversations with God, lessons in grace and dependance and a deeper love between Cindi and I.
A young friend of mine who's Mom was struggling through a similar journey once said, "Cancer sucks!" I totally agree. I also believe that God will work out all things for good and in the midst of the mess, that is what I watch for and celebrate.
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May your journeys never be comfortable and be real and full of blisters and soreness. May you risk the narrow gate and the road less travelled and engage in bungee-jumping faith where your reliance must be on Him. May you fall down and marvel at the gentle hands of a loving God who is there and helps you up all the while teaching and growing you. May you pray for danger and sadness so that your life and heart might grow bigger and heavier for the things that He wants us to care about. May you suffer so that you can experience the tangible love of a real friend. And in all of this - may you be blessed! Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-37907048185933078722012-11-17T19:33:00.001-08:002012-11-17T19:33:31.710-08:006sSo this past Wednesday Cindi went through her <b>6th chemo</b>. This new drug "taxol" is quite a journey for her. She has to endure some pretty severe muscle and bone ache and it is not easy. I am so proud of her and her perseverance through it all. 2 more treatments to go and then we are done this chemo-thing and it is time for a well deserved break. Last treatment - December 12th - the date we are shooting for - less than 4 weeks away.
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Then after a few more weeks Cindi should be on the mend and even perhaps growing some hair back. I am praying that she is feeling better for Christmas or at least New Years and we can take it from there.
I took some time over the last week and a half to unwind and rejuvenate. I spent <b>6 days</b> in Algonquin Park with my son Matthew canoeing and portaging through a little snow, some nice weather and a day of rain. Simple things can be very restorative and it has been years since I camped with my son.
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All in all these two <b>6s</b> are good things. One step closer to being done and one step closer to feeling restored. Both of us are a bit burnt out and longing for better days. We know that these times will surely pass and there are new things to enjoy and perhaps overcome on the horizon. One foot forward and then the next.
Thank you to all of you who have been there in prayer and support over the last few months. You are appreciated so much. Peace and grace to you all.
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Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-14990629916991570732012-11-04T08:01:00.000-08:002012-11-04T08:01:10.100-08:00
Chemo treatment #5 was completed on Wednesday, Oct. 31. I was anxious about this treatment, because it was the first time a new drug was used, which can cause some pretty extreme reactions when it is administered. (Including what my oncologist described as "experiencing an impending sense of doom." Gee, that's great, especially given the fact that I started this treatment on HALLOWE'EN!) As per usual, my worries were a waste, because all went very well. So much so, that the nurse commented at the end of the session that "this was one of the smoothest administrations of this drug" that he'd experienced. WHEW! I continue to say thank you for your prayers - as my body undergoes this onslaught, I continue to experience strength and grace in the midst of the side effects. The only explanation I have is that I am being sustained by the many prayers being offered on my behalf.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As to the side effects: Thankfully, the nausea is not nearly as bad with this particular drug. The trade off though is that I will have some pain to cope with in my joints and limbs. Today my devotions reminded me that this too shall pass: "We wish you could see how all this is working out for your benefit, and how the more grace God gives, the more thanksgiving will resound to his glory. This is the reason why we never collapse. The outward man does indeed suffer wear and tear, but every day the inward man receives fresh strength. These little troubles (which are really so transitory) are winning for us a permanent, glorious and solid reward out of all proportion to our pain. For we are looking all the time not at the visible things but at the invisible. The visible things are transitory: it is the invisible things that are really permanent." (2 Cor. 4:15-18). The wear and tear of chemo will pass; the grace of God will sustain. Isn't that awesome?
Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-85404108186529463472012-10-27T09:50:00.001-07:002012-10-27T09:50:04.603-07:00Sometimes it's tiring.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This morning, after cleaning out, feeding and watering our chickens and Quail in the pouring rain (poor birds), I came back in for a coffee and sitting beside Cindi, I asked her how she was.
She looked at me and quietly said, "I'm tired of being sick." So hard to hear those words and know that although we are half way there, we still have 6 1/2 weeks to go and 4 more treatments. And from the look in her eyes, I can see that this is hard!
Yes, it is tiring for my beautiful wife to manage simple things like food when she is nauseous or getting through the day spending time reading or watching a favorite show when just months before she had a demanding job and schedule and a vibrant schedule. It's tiring wondering what people think of you when you have no hair and look "different". It all takes a toll.
Ever feel this way? Ever feel like you're not in control of things and it drains you of all your energy and joy? Ever try to wish away the trials that you're in? I do. We all do. Problem is that they never seem to magically disappear when you want them to. But...they do pass.
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However, in the midst of the "tiredness" there are moments of wonderful comfort! Silly friends drop by with silly gifts and words of comfort and stories of "normal", trying on head scarves together and having a good chuckle. Friends deliver lasagnas with about an inch of cheese on the top that tastes like a little bit of heaven and is simply wonderful. People reach out and with their actions and words say - "Hang in there. We love you. You can do this."
And we can do this. Each of us is wired up to do whatever it is we are doing. Perhaps we could let go of some of the fringe busy things and make life a little more simple. But we can bite the bullet and rely on each other and the wonderful support of "community" - those people in our lives who hold our hands.
So today we will put our heads down and move forward. We ask each other to pray for the things we need, hoping in that support for answers from a loving God. We look forward to the "good moments" and squeeze every bit of goodness out of them like a warm bath with Egyptian jasmine salts to make her feel better - restored - renewed.
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Thank you for your continued prayers for my most beautiful wife. She will need them more now than ever as she begins this journey to the end of treatment...the end of tiredness...the end of being sick. Know that we appreciate and love each of you for the sacrifices you have made of your time, your food and your prayers. They are appreciated more than you can imagine.
We will continue to hold Jesus' hand in this and let Him guide the way. We will tell Him daily about the beautiful friends and family we have and how they are so appreciated. We will see this through to the end and (in tiredness) we will celebrate the good that has touched us on this journey.
Peace and grace to each of you as you each walk your own paths...
Oh...and could someone pray for this rain to go away?Pete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2863799626759290974.post-64712110528375716512012-10-22T11:44:00.002-07:002012-10-22T11:44:25.274-07:00...a post from Cindi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A tribute to my husband:
Since the BC diagnosis, so many things have changed. Life has been interrupted in so many ways, big and small. From being off work, (big change) to struggling on some days to just make a cup of tea, my daily life has its ups and downs. However, there has been one constant along the way: the love and support of my husband. He has told me over and over again "I am here with you. I am not going anywhere." And then he sets about the many tasks that I can't do on certain days. That cup of tea to settle my roiling stomach? Made. Floor needs vacuuming? No problem. Dusting, preparing for visitors, making meals, walking the dogs.... All done with such love and tenderness and concern. I worry about the big load he is shouldering between the demands of work, home and now caring for a spouse with serious limitations some days....and I am so grateful he is here. What would I do without this wonderful guy?! So please join me today in sending him some encouraging words...CindiPete Olsenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09555656422638631340noreply@blogger.com1