Signs of Spring

April 22. It is a whole 9 weeks post treatment, and SO MUCH has happened in our lives. As most of you know, Pete has made some big changes in his career path, having resigned from WMB. He is now working for Mennonite Central Committee, leading teams on mission trips to the urban landscape of Toronto, ON. He is also working at Integrity Home Services, doing residential construction & renovations, and landscape work. Both jobs pull at his passions: working with the poor and marginalized in our culture, and getting his hands dirty with active, hands on work. Many of you have asked me: How was Pete's first week? Busy, new and a bit strange. Transitioning from the comfort of the church community into such new roles has meant some hard things. Saying goodbye to colleagues and friends. Letting go of the comfortable, known routines and income. Getting used to a new rhythm, making new connections with strangers and hoping to make it all make sense. At one point, Pete turned to me and said "This feels a little weird, to be away from the church." Yes it does. But we are SO grateful for the fact that we have been able to stay in this community, and to stay planted in our little house beside the river. This means we can see people we love and miss. We look forward to reconnecting with friends along the way, and getting caught up on the story of your own journeys. This has already begun - yesterday I spent the afternoon with a good friend, Blythe, celebrating her upcoming marriage and seeing so many women from WMB who are dear to me. I felt so blessed to just be out in a social setting. I can't recall the last time I was able to do this, and it is nice to have the energy to go out for a few hours and visit! I take that as a sign of spring on its way in my body. Yes, I still have peripheral neuropathy & am dealing with pain, tingling, weakness and numbness in my hands and feet. This side effect from chemo is lingering and while I wish I could hurry it along, there is nothing to do but take the meds prescribed for the symptoms and simply wait it out. My hair is also returning quite quickly. At my last visit to the hospital, I was told that I don't look like a cancer patient only 2 months out of treatment, because of how much my hair had grown in. Yay hair! Hurray for eyebrows and eyelashes! Here's a few photos for comparison in various phases of the journey: (forgive my lousy self-portraits) Next steps are simply to focus on recovery, and take steps towards reclaiming our lives. Pete and I will be "doing church" in a different way, attending a small house fellowship. We are excited at this new opportunity to grow in our love for God and others in a more intimate setting. As we were sharing yesterday, I said that it feels like I am nearing the completion of this journey. Did I even say that out loud? There is a freedom in breathing deeply, knowing that in the midst of turmoil, & the uncertainty of change, we still follow a path marked out for us. A friend sent us this yesterday, and I found it moving and appropriate in light of the twist to our journey. It is called the Drake prayer: "Disturb us, Lord, when We are too pleased with ourselves,
 When our dreams have come true 
Because we dreamed too little, 
When we arrived safely 
Because we sailed too close to the shore. 

Disturb us, Lord, when
 With the abundance of things we possess 
We have lost our thirst
 For the waters of life; 
Having fallen in love with life,
 We have ceased to dream of eternity
 And in our efforts to build a new earth,
 We have allowed our vision 
Of the new Heaven to dim. 

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, 
To venture on wilder seas 
 Where storms will show Your mastery; 
Where losing sight of land,
 We shall find the stars. 

We ask you to push back 
The horizons of our hopes; 
And to push back the future
 In strength, courage, hope, and love. 

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
 Who is Jesus Christ." We happily anticipate a future where cancer is behind us - if this is the place Jesus leads us to. If not, then we anticipate finding continuing grace, courage and peace in the face of challenges. For now, I feel a quickening inside me as I ponder the new experiences before Pete in his new job, and the new energy that is building inside me as I continue to heal. New, new new - I love that word! Thank you for your continuing support, prayers and love as we take these steps. We could not have come this far without you.

Comfortable or Uncomfortable faith

This is my final week at WMB. It has been 3 weeks of saying goodbye and processing with hundreds of people. It has been a little harder yet a little better than I expected and I feel loved, that i will be missed, communicated with and affirmed in my decision to come here and work and my decision to move on and continue this journey. Yesterday we had a final youth service where youth, leaders and some parents came out to spend some time together for our last time. One cool thing we did was share communion together. Before we approached the table, we each were to write something we were grateful to God for or seeking forgiveness from God for and then stick those on a cross in the middle of the room. It was great to see all the notes stuck to the cross and littering the floor around the cross at the end of the service...an indication of Him in our lives. A morning of lots of hugs. This morning I had breakfast with a young adult from the church who has grown up here through my time in the youth ministry. She is now a youth leader and devoted follower of Jesus. We spent time chatting about life and then she told me that I was the first person to truly make her feel uncomfortable in her faith lived out...she explained that I had challenged her and rattled her cage a bit asking her to consider and do things outside her comfort zone and for that she was grateful. I was grateful that she shared that with me. It meant a lot. Should our faith be comfortable or uncomfortable? Was Jesus teaching a life of comfort or something else? Not sure when He said ,"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" that He meant there was no yoke and no burden and but that there was work to do and he would be there with us. You decide. Do not believe and live your live. Believe and do nothing for the Kingdom. Believe and follow in Jesus' dust picking up a cross and adventuring with Him into lonely places and frightening adventures. It truly is your choice. Good luck. Tough decisions can lead down unique paths...peace and grace to you.

...the next leg of the journey...

The winds of change are blowing and it is both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I have resigned from my position as Family Pastor at WMB. I have been in that role for almost 5 years and have grown and developed in the position here and within this community. It has been a journey exploring how God works through his church and in spite of us gets things done. There are so many people I will struggle with leaving behind but... the road is in front of me and I'm walking it. The future is somewhat planned out. Half of weeks will be spent working as the new coordinator of MCC TOOLS in Toronto This will entail hosting teams from various churches and organizations and connecting them with the various service agencies in downtown Toronto that serve the poor and marginalized. I am not exactly sure how that will unfold but I'm excited and ready to roll. the other half of my time will spent working in renovation/construction and landscaping with a good friend of mine from Guelph. This means that for now, Cindi and I will continue to live on the riverbank with our 4 dogs and chickens. Cindi continues to heal from the chemo damage at a slower rate than we would like but is beginning to turn and consider the journey back to work as a VP in the Waterloo school system next September. It has definitely been a year...looking forward to the next leg of the journey.