wondering about things

How many times have we engaged the questions like "Why does God allow suffering?" This has been on my mind over the past little while but I'm not really asking the question. I'm surprised by that. In the midst of a mess that seems to be a common question.
The answer has already been given to us if we have read through Scripture. Suffering in life is like air. It simply exists. "In this life you will have troubles..." is one quote that comes to mind. Jesus hung out with His friends over a meal and said that He had been looking forward to this before He had to go through His own suffering. There are so many stories about suffering and tragedy in the Bible and frankly, all around us every day. I met a woman in Nicaragua one night while I was hanging out with a friend and visiting people in a little barrio in Managua. She had an inoperable brain tumour. Was God there? I believe so.
Our culture is one that preaches comfort, success and freedom from hardships. I am clearly not sure that is the best for us. No one seems to reach the lofty goal of comfort, success and freedom and everyone seems to have to travel the harder roads - some more than others.

We all pass away. There will be a time when we are no longer here - guaranteed. Perhaps it is not about the specific circumstances but more about the journey. How will we walk through these dark valleys? How will we cope and comfort one another and posture ourselves in the messes?
This Lord is my shepherd, my example, my guide. He promised to lead us beside still waters, lay us down in beautiful green pastures and restore our soul. Even though we are at the end of it all in our journey, he says He is there to guide and to comfort. That is something we choose to believe and rely on.
Why does God allow suffering? Perhaps because He must. Perhaps because in that suffering we turn to Him and begin to really live. It doesn't fit our cultural norms but...If He is the God of the broken, I choose to be broken and choose Him as my God.

Loving others

New day today. Cindi's got a new haircut (which is making both of us laugh and smile a lot) Off to sort out work today. Onto the motorcycle for the ride in on a brisk and cool morning. I stopped at a stop sign and heard my cell phone go off so pulled over and answered it.
It was Cindi's Mom - (my Mom too frankly) calling to tell me that she and Dad loved me. How often does that happen??!! It was awesome!

Loving others means being able to receive love as well. I actually find that harder than giving love. Isn't God great! Always challenging us exactly where we need to be challenged.

In the Book to the Romans back in the day it says something like this... there is no way anything can drive a wedge between us and Christ's love...no hard-times, no trouble, no nothing. None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I am content with this today.

The roads we travel down

Yesterday I celebrated 13 years of marriage with the woman I love. I am amazed that she loves me back and celebrate that every day. We went out and spent the day prepping food for some of the poorer people in Kitchener. Then we spent the evening serving close to 200 meals to those precious people. Some friends joined us and it was good.
Cool thing happened. About two thirds of the way through the evening, we were called over to a table where some of the guests had finished their meals. A woman named Cat was playing her guitar. they had found out it was our anniversary and played and sang us a song...a hymn actually...and we joined in. What a wonderful gift. Amazing moment!

Today we went to the hospital for a meeting with the oncologist around follow up treatment for Cindi's cancer. When we were done we were scared and wondering how we ended up on this new road. 4 months of aggressive chemo every two weeks, no hair, sick, aches, nerve damage and on and on. We both left feeling stunned but knowing this was a journey we had to make. Cindi went to get her hair cut - prepping herself for all hair gone at about 3-4 weeks. I went off to a BBQ with the staff at the church. Cool thing happened. I was sharing the news with everyone and how I was afraid but wanted to be real honest and honour God. I broke down a bit and my fellow church workers, my team, my friends gathered around and prayed for Cindi and I. I could hear their tears and feel their touch and I knew I was not alone in any of this.

Following Jesus is hard. People get up in your face about religion. People challenge you at levels that are difficult to deal with, call you misled or brainwashed or foolish to believe in such stupidity. It can be a conversation ender when someone asks what I do for a living. I find myself deeply sad for people at times. I find myself angry at times with people who sit still too long and seems not to respond to injustices. Yes following Jesus is hard.

But last night it was awesome to follow Jesus and in the midst of the work be singing a worship song to Him with newfound friends. And today it was awesome to follow Jesus as people I have worked with gathered around and asked God for healing, for strength and perseverance for Cindi and I. It is still hard following Jesus (not so hard to believe in Him but definitely hard following Him) .

However, I don't know how we would walk this road without the strength and grace He shows us. Not sure how others may go this road alone. So I wont go this road alone. I have Cindi, I have friends and family and I have amazing expressions of love all around me. One day at a time. And He tells us that His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Following Jesus is hard.

I believe following Jesus is hard. It involves cross carrying. It means I have to join with others to do this thing right. It means I have to rely on someone i believe in. It means i will be under scrutiny lots of the time by others and all of the time by Jesus. It means I embrace grace and humility and obedience when everything in me screams not to. However...I believe following Jesus is real and it is the only way. I know I will screw up and get it wrong but I will spend the rest of my days at it.

I begin this BLOGGING journey to be able to share some thoughts and ideas that I think we each may have. Feel free to comment or write and discuss some of these things. I hope to share others thoughts as well here and provide some places for you to go to explore the adventure of following, churching, parenting, growing up and more. Blogs are interesting things because they feel relaxed and invitational and not too intrusive. Visit when you wish...or not. Join me. It would be great if you would.