trying to finish well?

Funny how hard it is to get to the finish line when you can almost see it but are not quite there. Ever feel that way? Finishing up the fall cleanup this year in my yard was brutal. I had this one tree - a Monster Norway Maple - that just wouldn't give up it's leaves. I had everything else done and wanted to be finished but this baby wouldn't drop...and then it did. Man! Reluctantly I went back out and finished the job. That final cleanup seemed harder than all the work I had done before. Why is that? I believe we want to finish and that ending is our goal. Let's just get this done and be done with it. But ... Cindi and I are learning that just isn't the "way". I believe (reluctantly) that the journey between start to finish may truly be what it's about. A journey involving struggle and suffering, integrity and truth, challenge and failures. The end may feel good - for a moment - but in reality everything of value happens along the way, the rejoicing and sadness, the encouraging of one another and heartfelt prayers, the love expressed and received. Once all that's over - then what?

So we choose to stay on the path right now and know that the end is in site but we will keep our steps focused on the journey. Next chemo treatment - Wednesday of next week. The 2nd last one and another milestone on this journey. My beautiful wife continues to amaze me and this process has certainly grown us closer together and taught us so much. As much as I wish this had never happened, I realize as well that I wouldn't have missed this for the world because of all the special things that have come out of it. Amazing friends, astounding family, real conversations with God, lessons in grace and dependance and a deeper love between Cindi and I. A young friend of mine who's Mom was struggling through a similar journey once said, "Cancer sucks!" I totally agree. I also believe that God will work out all things for good and in the midst of the mess, that is what I watch for and celebrate.

May your journeys never be comfortable and be real and full of blisters and soreness. May you risk the narrow gate and the road less travelled and engage in bungee-jumping faith where your reliance must be on Him. May you fall down and marvel at the gentle hands of a loving God who is there and helps you up all the while teaching and growing you. May you pray for danger and sadness so that your life and heart might grow bigger and heavier for the things that He wants us to care about. May you suffer so that you can experience the tangible love of a real friend. And in all of this - may you be blessed!