Monday, December 3, 2012

"stretcher or carrier"

We are on the home stretch for this opening foray of cancer eradication. Hard hit, Cindi is pressing through this in amazing ways and with a perseverance and calm that amaze me all the time. I simply do the dishes, pick up, spend time praying and worrying over her and generally feel fairly useless in this big picture. I have had to learn the value of these little tasks around the house that need doing (loving sweeping, vacuuming, dish doing, lunch prepping and water boiling to name a few) and being aware of how my beautiful wife is doing.
Chatting with a friend the other day he made a cool statement that made a lot of sense to me and helped both of us along in this journey. He said, "You know we all want to be the stretcher carriers but sometimes we need to be the ones in the stretchers." In a culture where we highly value the ones who help or "carry the stretchers" it is so hard to be the ones being carried. We all ask, "Where is the worth in that?" Slowly and painfully Cindi and I are beginning to comprehend the extreme beauty in receiving, the blessing in having others step into the gap and the frightening grace to be found in submission. We have found there is a wonderful peace in submission to God's plan and the expressed love of others. It wipes away the strange values we place on our own actions and leaves us simply cared for by others - valued not by our own actions but by others. Strangely this has not been an easy place to get to. Like in the story 2000 years ago where a bunch of friends break into the roof of a house and lower their friend to Jesus for healing, Cindi and I want to be the roof guys...but today, we are being lowered in so many ways.
Following Jesus is hard. Accepting grace and the offered hand of others is hard. Walking in these strange counter cultural valleys is hard. But...we have come to discover it is beautiful. May you each have the opportunity to journey into the hard places and experience difficult grace. May those opportunities grow and expand your love for Him and for others. May you find yourself on the stretcher at times - being carried and cared for. May grace be sufficient for you and may you find the precious freedom that is there.
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3 comments:

  1. AnnDecember 3, 2012 at 9:03 AM

    I completely get what you are saying. When the restaurant was not going well, we were humbled to ask for and to receive help, but came to the idea, through God's grace, that in being blessed, we were providing opportunity for others to bless. We had to take our turn on the receiving end. It's a precious thing to know both sides. And as you continue to support Cindy, it is a blessing to support you. I learned a few years ago as I watched my bff support her other bff when her hubby passed away (far too young, and suddenly) - the supporters need to be supported too. Let us know anyway we can help you in your journey.

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  2. UnknownDecember 7, 2012 at 7:27 PM

    yes. we are the friends by your side.

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  3. AnonymousDecember 11, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    Being carried is humbling, humility is good.....not that Cindi ever needed it from my pov but regardless.....this last round will be the hardest yet - chemo side effects build as you know but at least you can smile knowing you WILL feel better soon and this will be behind you. Good Luck this next/last couple weeks.
    Love L
    p.s. Sam is a true friend.

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