i went to see the chemo oncologist yesterday for a follow up. My mouth is almost completely healed, and i am well on my way to eating a more varied diet. Good news! As for my hands & feet: i have developed something called "peripheral neuropathy." This is a common side effect of the specific chemo drugs used in my treatment. Lots of people experience it, and it often interferes with the chemo regimen. Sometimes it gets so bad, that doctors have to adjust the chemo or stop treatment completely so that no more damage is incurred. Once again, i managed to get lucky in that the neuropathy began after the final treatment. So i was able to get the full dose of chemo, which is important in fighting the cancer. i am grateful for that. Peripheral neuropathy involves the nerves in the hands and feet, causing tingling, burning and pain. i am clumsy, and sometimes drop things. Depending on the task, it can be a challenge to get it done - zippers, buttons, turning the page on a book take a little more time and effort. My feet are sore and tender at best; at worst there is pain in my heels and toes. Thus my gait is different, as my body tries to compensate and find the least painful way to move. Someone asked yesterday if i can walk at all. Yes i can, but not for long periods, and standing in one place for a period of time is very difficult. So i am able to do tasks that do not involve long periods of standing or walking very far. it is a matter of learning to adjust my activities as much as possible. For example, i can continue my regimen at the gym, because the workout routine involves more sitting and lying down than it does standing. However the elliptical at home is off limits until my feet heal up. :( As for a recovery timeline: the oncologist advised me to "think months, not days." She told me the very worst case she saw took a year to heal. i kinda knew from my own research that time is the only thing that will bring healing - these nerves have to regenerate themselves and so that means i need to be patient with this recovery. in the meantime, my medication has been tripled in order to dull the discomfort. The drawback is that it will make me feel drowsy which, coupled with the increasing fatigue from the radiation treatment, will probably put me back in the comfy chairs with Sam for a few weeks again. Sam continues to be a constant companion, and has taken to following me around the house as i hobble from room to room, dealing with daily tasks. He curls up by my feet when i am on the computer, laying on a blanket. i know he prefers sharing the chair with me though so he will be happy when i retreat once more to the comfort of the living room and stay put with him! So the journey continues, with all its ups and downs.

A dear friend sent me some encouragement the other day, in the form of this Scripture from Psalm 18: "As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights." (v. 30-33). Pete and i are trusting God to continue his healing, invisibly reworking my body cell by cell. i love the imagery in these verses: as i limp along through the upcoming months, i rest in the knowledge that with time i will definitely stand up, strong and healthy.